My Sex Drackula
Posted by admin under Old and Young on Friday Mar 5, 2010Upon my eighteenth birthday, when I became a man in the jaundiced eyes of Romanian law, my father sat me down in the musty living room of our ancient cottage and told me the story of the Countess Sabrina Comaneci – the evil, vengeful, undead, downy-pussied seductress with big breasts who haunted the backwoods byways of our impoverished province, hungrily supping the blood, and other bodily fluids, of virginal males.
A single flickering tallow illuminated our sparsely furnished parlour, as a savage wind howled at the rotted eaves of our humble abode and twisted tree limbs clawed at the shutters as if seeking entry. ‘Her beauty is the stuff of the great artists Grigorescu and Luchian,’ my father intoned. ‘Men cannot resist her, and women detest her. It is legend that on a night many, many centuries ago, when the evening star Venus was at its zenith, the lust-crazed Countess succeeded in seducing one of her stable hands, a virginal boy of eighteen who had only that morning become betrothed to a poor peasant girl whom he had courted for years. And just as the Countess was teetering on the very edge of ecstasy, the young man’s fiance rushed into the room, saw what was happening, and in a fit of jealous rage seized a sabre from the wall and plunged it deep into the Countess, piercing her wicked heart, killing the beautiful temptress before she could attain sexual release.